Tag: sadness

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How could this year be seen as worse than last year

If you have been reading this blog since the fall of 2019 or following my journey through adversity Via www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelGuthrie, you know that an immune system disorder led to a syndrome called Guillain Barre. It left me unable to move for 17 days and gave me the “opportunity” to be in a rehab facility while I regained my strength allowing me to walk out and go home 43 days later. March-June of 2019 were pretty much lost. So, why would I say 2020 has actually been worse than the same time in 2019?

Dottie and I were struck the other day that we have lost the same 4 months this year because of a completely different type of adversity, Covid19 aka The Coronavirus. I have found myself discouraged and on edge in a way that Is not normal for me. I am sure the pandemic has some you feeling the same. This discouragement and angst oozes itself into all aspects of my life which results in a sadness that has led me to ask why? Dottie’ answers, “It is the uncertainty of not knowing what to expect with Covid19. Your bout w GBS was different. Once we knew you were not going to be put on a ventilator, we had the confidence that although it would take a long time, you would get better. We have no idea where the pandemic is taking us and what will be its long term effects.” I find myself fighting this realization but at the end of the day, she is absolutely right. Whether one wants to say this is not a big deal or that it is being over blown by the media, the fact remains no one knows the long term effects of the Coronavirus be it physical, psychological, or economically.

The second reason for 2020 being worse than 2019 will not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me. It has been the subject matter of several blog posts here. I MISS MY PEOPLE ?. We are not made to travel this life alone. Jesus knew it and that is why he sent the disciples out in twos. “After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.” ~ Luke 10:1 We need others in our lives to keep us uplifted when it is so easy to fall into despair.

There is also the African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” My recovery from Guillain Barre was indeed a group effort. Friends spent the night with me in the hospital and in rehab. People brought us lunch every day. I had so many visitors that Dottie had to, lovingly but fiercely, become the gatekeeper so I would get my rest. I was in a bad way but throughout the ordeal and even after we came home, we had people cheering and encouraging us along the way. 2020 is harder than 2019 because this is a fresh and different kind of adversity. I am sure that many of you are struggling with the pandemic’s “shelter in place” in some of the same ways. GBS without a doubt was the biggest challenge I have faced in my life. The difference this year is I don’t have the people around me as I did last year. Dottie and I are fortunate to have each other but it is tough going through this pretty much by ourselves. Like us, You are tired, lonely, and Frustrated. Asking, “When will this ever end?” You are longing life to get back to normal. I am grateful that Jesus says in Matthew,  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Picked this one because i wish I was at the beach 🙂

Reading through Proverbs in June teaches God want us to wait on Him. Be patient. Trust that He already knows the outcome of the Covid19 story and as this song reminds us, He has never failed us yet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B_lnQIITxU When we do Isaiah 40 lifts us up knowing “those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength”. I will look unto the hills, to the One who loves me, for rest in my soul and a renewed strength. How bout you?

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To what are you tethered?

I was standing by the river this morning w 2 of my grandkids at a social distance skipping rocks and watching them wade into the water. We even caught a frog! It was peaceful and while the sun was shining, the shade and the water off the water made it so pleasant. I wished we had a couple blow up rafts so the kids could enjoy floating just off the rocky beach where I could make sure nothing went wrong. What I forgot was as still as the river was, there was still a current that without something to anchor them, the kids would have nonchalantly drifted down the river to a place I would not have been able to see them anymore.

I was thankful for this moment after a couple of weeks of finding it hard to find anything for which to be thankful. This thought reminded me of Romans 12:2 in the Bible that says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” My friend, Steve Fitzhugh, modernized this verse when talking to young people about peer pressure saying, “even a dead fish can swim down stream.” I am grateful that the Covid19 shelter in place has given me extra time to think about what I feel about watching a black man killed by those who are sworn to protect. The first thing I felt called to do was reach out and say I am sorry to friends whom I knew were in pain. That I was broken hearted that George Floyd’s death once again showed that there is still an ugly and hateful current that continues to move in our society. I then focused on what was I to do about it and found a devotional by Chip Ingram that even though it wasn’t about this hateful act, it gave me a roadmap for my journey forward from here. I interpreted what he shared in this way.

“This is a journey which we are all on and one we need to do together. As Chip Ingram shared, like a real trip, we need a SUV ? We first need to Study so that we can learn and gain knowledge. We then need to seek to Understand by listening to those who have experienced more and know more than we do. We then need to make ourselves Vulnerable so that as Paul in Philippians 2 teaches, “we will not just look to our own interests but as importantly, the interest of others”

If we can all somehow do this, tethered together in unity, we can become agents of change. We can’t allow our complacency to let the currents of the world continue to take us down stream to places where we never intended to go. As Pastor TD Jakes shared recently in a sermon, “It is time to not Make America Great Again. It is time to make America Love Again. It is time to make America Kind Again.” The song says, “They will know we are Christians by our love”and that “it only takes a spark to get it going” Rosa Parks was arrested on December 1, 1955 after she refused to give up her seat on a crowded bus to a white passenger. This action of Parks, and a united African-American community made the boycott a success. They remained united and less than a year later the Supreme Court in November of 1956, ruled that segregation on buses operating within Alabama’s boundaries was illegal, because it deprived people of equal protection under the 14th Amendment. Maybe our individual actions to help make things right can make a difference after all. That would be a reason for which to be thankful.

Visit my health challenge story at www.caringbridge.org/visit/michael Guthrie Subscribe to my blog at www.thankfulinallthings.com contact me at [email protected]