“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 I wanted so much to travel next week to our company’s conference in Las Vegas. Many of my agents were going and I wanted to be there with them. I registered and made my plane reservations. This was going to be the time where life was going to start getting back to normal. Last week I regrettably decided not to go. This weekend marks when Guillain Barre Syndrome changed my life forever. As much as I wanted to be there, I was unsettled. I could not find a peace that given my experience with GBS (a rare, autoimmune disorder in which a person’s own immune system damages the nerves, causing muscle weakness and sometimes paralysis) it was worth the risk as Covid can, although rare, can cause a sequential Guillain Barre episode. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34170552/ I would rather not have that experience again. www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelguthrie
Since cancelling my travel plans, I have been wrestling with did I do it out of fear or was I making a prudent decision? Timothy writes that we are not to have spirit of fear but in the same sentence he says, God gives us a sound mind. If I am honest, I have found it difficult that most folks I know are back to living their lives as they did before Covid. I see the pictures of everyone travelling, gathering for parties and being in crowded sports arenas. Like going to Vegas next week, I have been tempted to throw caution to the wind so I can enjoy these things again. I do not want to live my life in fear but at the same time I would rather not see if getting Covid would bring on the rare chance of a GBS relapse. Not just for me but for the people (including my wife) whose lives would be impacted should it happen. I also struggle when I am the only one who has a mask on at the functions I do attend. I wonder if folks see it as a weakness and I know it makes some feel uncomfortable to be around me because they aren’t wearing a mask. And so I wait for an answer to is it fear or being prudent? Friends help me with this answer by supporting and understanding why I remain somewhat tied down. Some even said, “Are you crazy?” when I shared my thoughts on going to the company conference. For those who follow this blog, you know my faith and those around me have been what has gotten me through what is now a three year journey.
Wearing the mask is the easy part. I know many don’t think it matters and express they have the right to not wear one especially if they are vaccinated. For me it is personal choice and it has in my opinion been effective. Since wearing a mask, I have not even had my once or twice a year cold. My doctor says he continues to see a very low number of patients with the flu. If wearing a mask keeps me from getting sick, I will continue to wear one in crowded places where I don’t know who I am with or who they have been around who might be sick. Travelling in public transportation is for another day in the hopefully not too distance future.
When I do; “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1,2 If He made the heaven and the earth, I can certainly trust that He has made me of sound mind and will provide me the peace to venture out knowing He is with me always. Until then As Jodie Berndt shared on Twitter recently, ““Friendship doubles our joys and divides our griefs.” “We need to cultivate a spirit of humility—one that is quick to celebrate someone else—instead of a spirit of criticism and contempt? freely.” Let’s be generous with our love, coming alongside others in their hard times and, even more, in their rejoicing.”
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