Tag: caring for others

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Faith Hope and Love but the greatest of these is Love

Last week, I wrote about why being silent is not always a good thing. It just have resonated because more people opened this blog post than any other in the almost two years I have been writing this blog. I also shared that sometimes our lack of action is a way of being silent as well.  As I thought and talked to others about how to practically apply this concept, I was surprised how being loved or loving others motivates us to not be silent whether in word or deed.  In Acts 2 and then again in Acts 4, Peter is compelled to share what God wants for us because he had been loved by Jesus. If we truly care about another person, we will speak up on their behalf, do something if they need help, or make repair if we have hurt them in some way.  Here is the link to last week’s blog where you can find read a couple examples of how this can be done. https://thankfulinallthings.com/do-people-know-you-have-been-with-jesus/

I think one of the most significant ways we can love one another is to forgive or to ask for forgiveness.  Think about it.  If someone does something to you and says they are sorry, forgiving them is a great way to show love.  If neither party is unwilling to say they are sorry or forgive, that silence will fester and negatively impact, not only the relationship but, as Gwen Randall-Young writes, one’s own health and mental well being as well.  https://gwen.ca/harboring-resentment/ Our desire to make repair should be a motivating influence to not be silent but to move toward the other person.  I spoke to one friend this week who shared she apologizes while literally sitting on her child’s lap. Her daughter knows her mom won’t get up until things are resolved. What a wonderful picture of having the intentionality of desiring restoration.

God shows us the way in 1 John 1:9 where it says, “if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us out sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” He wants us to come to Him with our failures and imperfections. We should want to do the same to those we have let down in some way. Matthew affirms this behavior where he writes, “ So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.https://biblia.com/bible/niv/matthew/5/21-24

I will close with these two important points. The bible says we must forgive but that it doesn’t always lead to reconciliation. I found a link to an article that unpacks this concept in a wonderful way. https://bit.ly/forgivenessversusreconciliation Another important consideration is that we must forgive ourselves before we can ask someone else to forgive us. May times people can’t ask for forgiveness because they think how could someone else forgive me when I can’t forgive myself? This points us back to the promise God gives us in 1 John 1:9.

What relationship is out of accord and needs repair? Why not in Faith seek them out and share how they have hurt you or how you have hurt them. Give each other the opportunity to confess their part in the broken relationship with the Hope that things can be resolved. Break the silence in word or in deed knowing that Love is the greatest and will show you the way.

I would love to hear from you at [email protected]. If you haven’t already, please subscribe so you can receive email notifications when new content is posted.

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What will you choose?

One of the first days I was in the hospital unable to move due to Guillain Barre Syndrome, a friend asked me, “Do you ever ask Why me? I cannot tell you why but I was in a weird way comforted and encouraged that the question had never entered my mind. Instead, I made the choice to have a mindset of “what do I and the people caring for me need to do for me to get better?”

This blog post came into focus from three very different places this week. First, a good friend talked about “why is it always about what I need, I deserve, I earned and entitled to instead of about what God has done in my life? The second was a brief devotional by John and Stasi Eldredge on “guarding your heart so you prevent negative thoughts from growing in this time of social distancing. Here is the link. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=214262996537588&external_log_id=d77d5d6df9a10b37ff6523ec739b195a&q=stasi%20eldredge Finally, while walking this morning I listened to a sermon, where the pastor challenged those listening, “how has Covid-19 shown you that your identity and security have been in the wrong places?” All three thoughts though different brought to mind the fact we all can choose how we will respond when faced with challenges.

Hasn’t it been a long week? Just a week ago, we celebrated Easter. We sang Hallelujah, He is Risen and found ourselves uplifted knowing we have Hope because God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us. A week later, are you still living in Hope or have you gone back into a state of anxiety and discouragement? A week before Easter over 2000 years ago, everyone was shouting “Hosanna in the Highest”. A week later they were screaming “Crucify Him’. In one short week they went from praising Jesus and what He has done to wanting Him dead.

The point is how we choose to live and behave is our chose. Here are some examples of who how we can choose to live our life. Loving vs Hateful, Fearful vs Courageous, Greedy vs Generous, Anxious vs Peaceful, Selfish vs Servant-hearted, Helpful vs disagreeable, resentful vs grateful, bitter vs kindhearted.( *see verses below) Stasi Eldredge shared in the video seeds get planted in our hearts and unless we nourish them positively we can find ourselves succumbing to the attitude “it is all about me”, III, vs desiring to offer hope and light to others.

A year ago, I was in a Rehab Center excited that I had been given the green light to go home. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be there without being able to have visitors. Am I happy that I have been in self-isolation for more than 6 weeks now because of a compromised immune system? No. but I choose to be grateful that this irritation pales in comparison to what others and their loved ones are going through right now. You see, We all have a chose to live our lives out in certain ways. No one can force us to be one way or another. Revelation 3:20 reinforces that very thing. He knocks but it is up to us to answer and open the door. The answer will determine whether you will experience true peace knowing you are living the life God intended for you. One that as Galatians 5:22,23 says produces, ” the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Let’s all go out and encourage others to choose these.

*additional scripture verses. 1 John 4:19 “one who say I love God,” but hates his brother is a liar” “Some people are always greedy for more, but the godly love to give!” – Proverbs 21:26.

Michael [email protected] www.thankfulinallthings.com

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Remember those who are still travelling through adversity

Hebrews 13:3 “Remember those who are in prison as if you were in prison with them. Remember those who are ·suffering [mistreated] ·as if you were suffering with them“

A couple things happened this week that led me to write this post. I have thought about it for the last few weeks but was reluctant because I don’t want it to come across as me whining about my own situation. I saw a friend at church last week who is fighting cancer. He got a good report back in the spring. I realized I had not reached out to him since back in June so I emailed him to check in on him. Here is his response. “How nice of you to reach out to me! The Holy Spirit must have prompted your email, because I am in need of divine comfort and intervention in the face of a medical set back.  A new cancerous nodule was recently identified in my other lung.  It is not yet clear whether the nodule is a metastasis (bad) or an independently formed instance (less bad).I covet your prayers for peace and healing as I undertake this new phase of my cancer journey.” Then yesterday another friend stopped by my office on a Saturday unannounced. He had no idea I would be there but said he was driving by so thought he would take a chance. I had walked with him a bit after his wife died of cancer two years ago. We hadn’t been in touch for several months. Here is his follow up email. “Thanks again for letting me pop into your office today without even having
an appointment. Thanks for taking the time and I am so very happy your
health has returned!” Another friend who was in a car accident wrote this when I reached out to see how she was doing “Its a relief to be remembered.  Thank you for sharing that with me.  Yes- healing through and through, outside in”
These interactions made me realize that people who have battled adversity continue to need people like you and me well after you think their adversity is over.
My recovery from Guillain Barre has been going on now for almost a year. I now walk into rooms and people don’t react like Wow! “It is so good To see you. How are you? You look great” People who don’t Know me have no idea what I have been through. The reason for sharing this is I now have an idea of what it feels like to still be recovering but not have the same support as early on in my journey. I hesitate to write this because I don’t want this to be about me or trying to make someone feel like they have let me down. The support we have gotten has been amazing. Instead I am hoping that those who choose to read this blog will be encouraged to reach out to someone that has experienced some type of struggle or sadness recently to see how they are doing. Do it right now! Don’t hesitate! Reach out to whoever comes to mind. I am confident you will be greeted with “thank you. I am so glad to know you are thinking about me. It means so much that you care” I would love to hear about what happens when God uses you to make a difference in someone else’s life. Please hit reply and share what happens so we can all be motivated to do it more often.

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The art of visiting…You might not think it makes a difference but it does!

 

The “least of these” refers to those in a variety of needy situations. They include the hungry, thirsty, impoverished, sick, and imprisoned. In this context, Jesus is speaking to those who were following Him wanting to know how to be considered righteous. Obviously in my case, it had to do with visiting this guy who was fighting back from Guillain Barre Syndrome. If you are finding the blog for the first time read back through some of the posts. You will see that one of the reasons I am Thankful in All Things is the outpouring of support we received and continue to receive from so many people. I have recently returned from a nice vacation where I took the time to read every card that was sent to me. I also have been reading through the notebook Dottie used to chronicle the highlights and the lowlights 🙂 of each day of my journey through adversity. So many folks took time out of their days to check in to say hello, encourage, drop something by, and pray for us. What also is obvious is many others who could not visit prayed regularly, took the time to write a note or make a comment on the caring bridge site. https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelguthrie The visits and cards along with the comments have given me and Dottie the support we need to battle back from this crazy malady resulting from an auto immune disorder which wreaked havoc on my nerve system ultimately making me unable to move. This brings me back to the passage “we are to do this for the least of these.”

People taking the time to visit me in the hospital, rehab, and in the early weeks recovering at home, gave me a new appreciation for how important it is to do it. It has never been easy for me. There are many times I never went even though I knew I should. I would send a card, email, or text but somehow find a way not to actually go and be present with the person who was sick. I can’t explain why but I am guessing many who read this blog have had the same dilemma. I can honestly say that even though I still find it hard, I now feel compelled to go. Why? Because I know it can make a difference. The question is what is the best way to go about visiting someone in need? It is so easy to say, ” I am not very good at it” or ” I am sure I will just be in the way.” Believe me. Neither of these are reasons not to try and comfort or encourage someone. Your willingness to go and not overstay your welcome can be life giving. In my blog post, I will share some tips from Dottie and my personal experiences on how to allow God to use you well as you strive to care for those who need it. As Nike would encourage, “Just do it!” But do it with sensitivity.

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Learning to receive makes you a better giver

If this is your first time here I hope you will take the time to read previous blog posts or visit www.caringbridge.com/visit/michaelguthrie to learn about this blog came to be.

There are two streams of thought that I hope I can merge into one river of encouragement for those who have chosen to follow or happen upon this blog. First, I am learning that my guillain barre syndrome health challenge has become a blessing in my life. This experience has strengthened my faith. Joseph in the Old Testament was faced with one trial after another but time after time acknowledged, “The Lord was with me” I did while in the hospital and rehab and continue to experience His presence in my life. Genesis 50:20 paraphrased 🙂 “GBS intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the opportunity to encourage others” John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” The troubles I have gone through have given me a platform to inspire and lead others through whatever it is they are going through. Donald Miller talks about “transitioning from being the hero/inspiration in your story to becoming the guide for others to be heroes in their own stories.” If you were going on a hike or a fishing/hunting trip in some remote area, wouldn’t you want a guide who has been in that location many times before? My back story is being knocked down but not knocked out by my auto immune system going haywire. This meaningful journey through adversity and how I have been able to handle it, has enabled me to help others find their way through as well. Without my faith in God and having so many people offering their help, this would not have been possible which leads me to the second stream of thought. 🙂

I have always been motivated by the thought, “it is better to give than to receive” I hated the fact that I was selfish and still find it distasteful when it raises up in me even now. Christmas always brought this ugly trait out into the forefront. I would sit and watch others open their wonderful gifts but instead of being happy for my brothers, sisters, or my friends, I would always compare what I got and did it measure up to what others got. Focusing on others with a “How can I serve them” mentality diminishes my selfishness along with staying attuned to how blessed I am. I have so much for which to be thankful. Watching people time and time step up to help us in whatever way we needed has allowed me to see how many people really care about us. While not being able to move I was totally dependant on others and as I continue to work hard in hope of a full recovery, people continue to offer their assistance. My point is I now have a new understanding for “It is better to give than receive”. I now know what it feels like to have people visit you when you are sick or in the hospital. Dottie and I have both been recipients of so many acts of kindness that have buoyed us up over these last 9 months so we would not slip into discouragement. They have acted as examples of how to love others well. They have been the guides that God brought to us on our road to recovery at just the right times. We are indeed thankful for all things and it is the reason I call myself blessed. Everyone needs to be reminded that “The Lord is with them” My hope is you will be encouraged to go out and be that reminded for someone you know could use a helping hand.

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Our brain is really like a computer

My 12 days at UVA hospital were miserable. It was so frustrating to not be able to move and even more aggravating to not be able to sleep. Ask those who know me and they will tell you sleeping has never been a problem for me. My son-in-law Ben has a folder on his computer with photos of me sleeping pretty much anywhere. That was not the case for many days. Here is a post from my Caring Bridge site on the 10th day. “Dottie and I are so grateful for everybody’s love and support. Life has definitely thrown us a curveball, which unfortunately I never could hit very well….But with your wonderful words of encouragement and knowing God is with us, we will get through this. Please pray for continued movement….and a good night’s sleep.” Becca wrote, “He had a rough night last night and is having more difficulty finding that “comfy spot”.  The plan is to try some medications to help with nerve pain as well as some Tylenol, so we are praying for some more rest and comfort throughout the night tonight.” My son, JM wrote on “Dad is more and more uncomfortable with the small signs of improvement and an increased feeling and awareness. Dottie is doing her best to keep him relaxed and their love is tangible even in this time of struggle. ” 

Why do I share these things. Because a little more than 7 months later, these very tough days and nights are still etched in my mind but not as the minute by minute struggle they were at the time. I titled this post “our brain is like a computer” for a reason. Every so often, we need to defrag our computer so it can run faster. When you do that, the information you have saved does not go away, it gets compressed in some way to create more space for other programs to run. Psalm 30:5 says, ” For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. ” 2 Corinthians 4:17 says it a different way-
“For our light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that is far beyond comparison.” I am grateful that I am getting better but in a weird way I want my brain not to compress my memory of how I felt in the darkest of my time in the hospital and in rehab because I learned that God was there and His favor does last a lifetime. I also learned what a blessing it is to have people who truly care come along side to help in whatever way they were asked. As mentioned in an earlier blog post, by dealing with the adversity of Guillain Barre well, “I have been given a ticket to a place I would never have been able to go” I have become a different person. A quote from a friend on a different Caring Bridge says it best.  “I’ve spent deeply meaningful time with my family and closest friends. I’ve been a better father and husband. I’ve shared my story openly, and learned to let people help our family in ways big and small while looking to find ways to encourage and support others”. Dottie and I remain so thankful for your friendship and care. Your support gives us hope, comfort, peace of mind and encouragement during what has been a tough season.  We will not forget. We will always remember.

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Perseverance in Recovery because of the support of others.

Hebrews 10:24 exhorts us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good works”. Yesterday reminded me again what others support has meant to me and Dottie through this #guillainbarrerecovery. I checked an “I am getting better” box as I finished a 5K run in under 36 minutes which was my secret goal. http://joined_video_7ecde852c0494045b16d41de32bf8540 A wonderful team of people came to run with me including our sweet friend Kaitlyn who had a heart transplant less than a year ago. Her father texted my on June 13th that his prayer was that both of us would one day be well enough to do a 5K together. 4 months later we both turned that prayer into a reality. It meant so much to have folks show up to support us along with the many encouraging messages from those who couldn’t be there. From day one, this was a recurring theme for us as we battled through the early days of being unable to move and the uncertainly of would I get better. It continued as we persevered along the very difficult path of regaining movement, muscle strength, and stamina. People made all the difference. From close friends to folks we hardly knew. Everyone found their way to help. Lisa and Lisa started google lists so that we had lunch brought in every day and I would have someone with me every night over the weeks where I couldn’t move. They served Dottie by showing her they knew that lunch was her favorite meal and that she wouldn’t eat much dinner. They also knew she wouldn’t go home unless someone else was there with me. What a gift. Having someone with me every night was such a blessing as was knowing Dottie was sleeping in our own bed. People stepped up in so many ways;Too many to list here. Our pastor talked about the amazing Dunkirk troop rescue by the English people. Owners of all size boats crossed the English channel to bring home several hundred thousand men. It was another reminder of the way aid and support came our way. As I shared in an earlier blog post, folks found ways to carry me to Jesus through prayers, visits, cheering at PT sessions, UVA swag :), and posts on www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelguthrie. Dottie would sit and read them to me which brought the peace that Paul writes about in Philippians 4. I can honestly say I would not be as far along in my coming back from GBS had it not been for the encouragement we have and (as evidenced by the run Saturday) continue to receive along the way.

Grateful to have these folks show up to encourage us along the way
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Love conquers all

The power of others love and support

It is interesting now to try and bring back the memories of being in the step down ICU unable to move anything but my head and a couple fingers and toes. Those days and nights were so miserable. Totally dependent on others and not being able to sleep. I never want to experience it again but I want to hold on to the more desperate I felt, the closer I felt to God and allowed myself to be uplifted by others. I have already written about my Doctor friend promising I would get better. My daughter Becca (with her medical background) was next to put things in the proper perspective. She shared with Dottie and our two other children, “this is not good but it could be so much worse. We are in for a long rough stretch but it isn’t a stroke, heart attack or him being diagnosed with some type of long term or terminal illness” It made me think back to when my Dad was at Walter Reed hospital in His last days. Becca (23 then) is the one that made such a great point then as well. “Dad, Papa has had a long well lived life while these young men and women are coming back from war fighting now for their lives. “ From the very beginning, God made His presence known through the amazing and constant care of family, friends, and people I didn’t even know. A few months ago, I sat on my porch and made a list of those who went the extra mile for me and Dottie. I was stunned by how long the list was knowing many folks have to suffer through these types of things alone or with very little support. This was written on the original www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelguthrie post and to this day remains so true. “We are grateful for Michael’s prayer warriors and fans around the world and know that you will lift him up and channel your love and positive energy toward Michael, Dottie and all the Guthries.” This is just as true today as it was back at the beginning of this unexpected season of my life. I look forward to sharing specific examples in a future post of how folks leaned in to help move us forward. It has been truly remarkable.